Mara's Big Day

Today is Mara's second birthday, or at least what some unknown doctor designated as the day to mark the anniversary of her birth. Because Mara was not abandoned within a day or two of birth as many Chinese babies are, her age had to be guessed by virtue of her size, looks and developmental clues. I know I will always wonder just how close that doctor came to the true date of birth but it really doesn't matter. What matters is that a wonderful but heartbroken couple gave up their sweet baby girl on October 12, hoping, I'm sure, that she would one day find her way into the hearts and lives of a loving family. And she has indeed.

We know they were wonderful because our daughter is bright, charming and beautiful. We know they must have been heartbroken because we also know the unbearable pain that comes with the loss of a child. So many times today thoughts of that couple, most especially Samara's birth mother, have dwelt strongly on my mind and I have wept more than once. We will never know under just what circumstances they found it necessary to abandon their baby but I know it had to be something unavoidable to find the strength to take such a step so their child could have a chance at a better life.

I often pray they will somehow know that she is safe, happy and very loved, that she has found a forever family that feels a bond as if she was born into our lives just as our biological children. Knowing that will not take away the pain for them, because I know Kelsey is safe and happy with our Lord, but I still ache to hold her in my arms, see her beautiful smile and talk with her as I once could. But there is peace in knowing that your child is not suffering or struggling and that life is enormously better than what she could have hoped for where she was.

I wish I could thank them for the incredible joy we have because of their loss. It seems so wrong that our joy is the product of their sadness, but that is the simple reality. It makes me hope that somehow, someone in this world has a better life, a better understanding of God's love and power because they knew our Kelsey and watched her incredible strength in her last months. Maybe there is joy somewhere that is a product of our sadness.

This evening Samara found out what an American birthday celebration is all about. Cakes and candles, singing and presents. Lots and lots of presents! She giggled with joy throughout the evening and we all giggled right along with her. Grandma and Grandpa joined us for the celebration which was half the fun for Mara. And she had all the fries and "chalkawalk" she could handle. (Chocolate milk.) Because she enjoys nothing more than a huge order of fries, Dad brought home McDonald's for dinner. A little unorthodox for our family, but the kids traditionally choose their own birthday dinner fare. After opening and playing with her huge pile of gifts, (okay so we all got a little carried away,) she dug into the Sesame Street cake complete with Elmo and Big Bird. Life doesn't get much better than this for a two-year-old. It wasn't easy getting her to settle down and go to bed but when she finally did her favorite gift, the Build-a-Bear Workshop special edition Elmo from her big sisters, was right there beside her asking for hugs at the push of a button.

It was a great day and we look forward to many more in the future. None will be quite so special as this first one, however. We thank God for the incredible blessing he has given us in Samara. She has brought more joy into this household in the last 6 months than I thought I'd see for the rest of my life. I apologize, sort of, for the sloppy sentimentality, but there just isn't any other way to express what this gift means to us. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet girl. We love you!